[FREE] A Dream Deferred

I wanted to be a model. Work for one of the top companies like Elite Model Management or FORD models. I had talent too. My photos were some of the best the photographers have ever taken. Having diversity was key, and I had it. It was my dream to rise to the top. To have multiple clients waiting to take photos of me. To fight, over me. But this dream was deferred.

I met a guy who had everything I was looking for. We fell in love a few years later and got married. Then I got pregnant with Emily, and it changed my whole world as I knew it. No one wanted to photograph someone for the cover of Vogue who was fat. No one would buy such a magazine, so I was put out of work. Out of my dream.

There was no possible way I could get back to where I was. They would have forgotten my name, my unique qualities, so I would have to prove myself worthy once again. How long would that take? Another eight years of my life? I would no longer be a young and fresh face but rather an attractive mid-aged woman. They would pick a younger woman over me in a heart-beat.

So here I sit, stirring my wine around the brims of my glass, listening to my baby cry. She has been screaming for hours now but I just sit by the door as calmly as before. She ruined my life. Why should I help her when she’s done nothing but destroy the one thing i enjoy? Maybe it's just the wine talking but I truly believe these things.

I run my fingers over the cold surface of the metal object on my lap and give a disturbing giggle.

I open my mouth slowly, “So this is how it’s going to end.”

With a breeze of courage and foul thoughts I bring the opening of the pistol to my head. Then I give one last pose before pulling the trigger.

[RE] Homework

“Now I understand the point of teachers giving homework, so we could learn. But homework encourages students to not want to learn, because of the large amounts of assignments given to us.”

This quote is from Nick Sarmiento’s blog.

Homework can be the best thing or you’re worst nightmare. I’ve experienced it both ways. I for one have trouble staying awake in class or listening to a long lecture. I loved math last year. Yeah I know I’m a nerd, whatever. But now I dread each time I walk into that class. The work is beyond hard and we get swamped with homework every night, including weekends. At first I was frustrated at the amount of homework that he would give us but then I realized, in a way, it’s a good thing. Since it’s hard for me to focus on my teacher’s lectures that drag on and on, I simply take good notes and review them when I get home. And the large amount of problems assigned is just to help me practice the material.

Chemistry is kind of the opposite. I love that class so I always do my best to pay attention. It’s just when my teacher begins to take notes I start to get sleepy. But it’s easier to snap out of my trance because I actually enjoy what I’m doing. Luckily my chem teacher barely gives out homework but when he does I procrastinate doing it. It’s not that I don’t know how to but that it’s hard to get my mind back into “chemistry mode” when I’m at home.

[CE] Releasing Noah's Ark

Hey, Ohio? Yeah, how could you guys possible not know or hear of a man keeping over 50 exotic animals on his property? Just wondering because one would think news like that would travel fast. It’s a shame that it had to get to the point where the animals were released for you all to notice.
Where did this 62 year old guy even get these animals? I can understand how he got the bears because those are more common, but the lions and tigers are a different story. Can’t you only find those in zoos or in their natural habitats? I highly doubt there are tigers randomly wandering through Ohio’s forests. Ohio law makers need to get a grip on this situation by making sure no one is allowed to own these kinds of animals. First of all it’s unfair to the animals due to the lack of space and proper care. And secondly it’s a danger to society for an unprofessional to be keeping these animals.
This guy obviously had some personal issues and I don’t blame him for his actions. I don’t think he let the animals go based on knowing they would be killed but more for letting them finally have freedom. Although I think it was careless and cruel for Ohio to shoot practically all the animals. Some of these were rare animals that we should have captured not killed. They basically took the easy way out of a chaotic situation. Ohio, you have a lot of work to do.

[FREE] Grandma's Pink Pearls

   My hands shook as I I laid my hands on the wooden chest. I wasn’t suppose to be in my grandpa’s room but he was busy mowing the front lawn. Hopefully I would be out by the time he finished. My arms pushed open the chest’s lid as hard as they could and let it lean against the faded wallpaper. The inside was filled to the top with old items. To most people it would look like a pile of junk, but not for me.
   It was my grandma’s stuff that my grandpa must have put it in here after she had died. Well, that’s what we thought had happened. She disappeared two years ago and we just assumed the worst. I reached in and pulled out the necklace of pink pearls she always wore around her neck. They always looked so beautiful on her, maybe they would on me too. My hands then greedily hooked them around my neck as my eyes searched the chest for more treasures.
   I pulled out a stack of old photos and began to search through them. They were from my grandparents’ wedding. My grandma stood young and proud in her long-sleeved gown and my grandpa in his black tux. I moved the picture to the back when the next picture suddenly fell to the ground. It was another photo of my grandparents on my wedding day but it was ripped in half. In the next one my grandma’s head was cut out. And in the next she was burned out of the picture. I was more confused than worried about why someone would do this. My grandma was the sweetest person I knew and these altered pictures showed hate.
   Then it hit me. This was my grandpa’s chest and it was in his room, where no one was allowed. Could he have done this? No, of course not. He loved my grandma. Didn’t he?
   My grandpa then emerged from the doorway, his face filled with anger I had never seen before, “What did I tell you about going in my room?!”
   “I’m sorry grandpa! I was just looking.”
   “No get out! Get out!” He screamed.
   I would have liked nothing more than to leave but I felt as if I was glued to the floor. My body trembled in fear as I began to cry, this wasn’t the same grandpa I knew.
   “Can’t you hear child?! Leave!”
  In the moment of anger and frustration he grabbed one of his many beer bottles on his desk and slammed it against my skull.
  I woke up in my own bed screaming at the top of my lungs. I stopped when I realized I was safe, it was only a dream. My shirt was damp with sweat and I felt slightly dizzy. I didn’t remember coming home but I pushed that out of my mind as I stumbled to the bathroom. Water filled my cupped hands and I splashed it on my face. The water felt amazing against my burning skin, and for some reason my head was throbbing. I looked up into the mirror and met the gaze of my own tired eyes. And when my eyes reached the pink pearls around my neck I suddenly didn’t feel tired anymore.

[CE] The Big Bang Theory

I don't expect anyone to watch this whole thing but maybe just take a glance at it.

I don’t know if this is considered a “current event” but it’s an event that I currently want to talk about so, I guess I will. We were talking about this in Chemistry today and it just made me really depressed. Mr. Joo told us that at one time the whole universe was together and then it expanded (the Big Bang Theory) creating the universe we know today. But the thing is the universe is still expanding and once it reaches a certain distance, gravity will stop it, and begin to pull the universe together. Later on when the universe is one again the Big Bang Theory may happen again. Of course if this does happen it wouldn’t occur till several generations beyond ours. But it still astonishes me.

It’s not just the idea of the Big Bang Theory that fascinates me but the idea that this has happened before. Because if our universe is beginning to come together and perhaps recreate the big bang theory why couldn’t this have happened in the past? We could possibly be the hundredth generation this has happened to. The hundredth universe created. The hundredth generation to be wiped out by the Big Bang Theory.

Am I the only one who finds this terrifying? And what if we do have another universe created by the Big Bang Theory and there is no sun? No energy source? Will the next generation be able to survive or even be created? And will we ever find answers to these puzzling questions?

[RE] Thrift Shopping:D

“Some people might think shopping in a thrift store is… I don’t know gross; because the clothes are used.”

                A lot of people become hesitant when thinking of shopping at a thrift store. When people think of buying clothes they expect them to new. I used to only think this way too, but the thing is you can find some really unique pieces at a thrift store. Of course people prefer new clothes to used ones but not all used clothes are in bad shape. Most are in good condition if not still new looking.

                I’m personally really into vintage clothing. Like leather boots, laced pieces, patterned buttoned blazers, high-waist shorts, floral patterns, etc. At least that’s my version of vintage. And guess what? You can find a lot of these pieces at a thrift store! Usually no one else with have the same clothing as you and it further defines your personal style.

                I really want to buy some jumpers and a pair of Toms. This is off topic from the quote but I just wanted to mention it.(: My outfits are usually based off what I’m doing and one piece of clothing I really want to wear the next day. Like if I have PE the next day I’ll wear something easy to change in and out of. And if I really want to wear my grey Vans the next day I’ll pick out an outfit that goes with them. It just usually works out like that.

                                              This quote is from Annie Zhu’s blog.

[BC] Steve Jobs

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

—Steve Jobs, in a 2005 speech

   Steve Jobs makes some very interesting points in this excerpt from his speech. I strongly agree with his advice of "living everyday as if it was your last." It's true that we'll never know when death decides to pay us a visit; All we can do is cherish every day we are given. Although, this isn't the easiest thing to do. We all have bad days where things just don't want to go our way. And honestly, I don't think it's possible to have a day good enough to be considered your last.
   If I was to plan my perfect last day, I don't think I would spend it with my family. If I did my day would just be spent crying over not begin able to see my family anymore. That doesn't sounds like a fun way to spend my last day. I want to be able to enjoy it! So I would either want to be alone or with whatever boyfriend (or husband) I had at the time. The day would be spent doing the things I've always wanted to do. And at night I'd lay out alone underneth the stars and reflect on my life. But the thing is I don't know when my last day will come, so it's not possible for me to plan this out ahead of time.
   If I started following Steve Job's advice tomorrow I think I would learn to be less shy. I'm not the most confident person but if I focused on this message everyday day I don't think I would care as much about of what others think of me. I wouldn't care about messing up or looking stupid cause you only get one life, so you shouldn't let others keep you from living yours to the fullest. I think I would also begin to truly appericate my situation. My life is great, even if somedays I might not believe it. I have shelter, food, health, and an education. Some people in other parts of the world don't have these things I take for granted. So I should appericate what I have while I have it.
   The advice I would given to people about how to "make the big choices in life" is to follow your heart. Don't over think your decisions and worry what other people will think of them. All that matters at the end of the day is that you're content with yourself and the choices you've made.

[FREE] Stay With Me

 

                The old two-story house stared angrily down upon us. It had been vacant for over twenty years. You could imagine why people claimed it was haunted. The chipped paint, mysterious shadows, creepy noises, untrimmed lawn. All these added to its haunted factor. I wasn’t one to believe in ghosts but I couldn’t seem to ignore the bad vibe coming from the house.

                “Can you come in with me?” Cameron whined, “Just for a minute, please?”

                Cameron was dared to enter the house and, like the “macho” man he was, he accepted. I looked up towards the second floor windows when I saw one of the curtains fall closed.

                “Did you see that?!” I asked startled, “That curtain just moved!”

                Cameron rolled his eyes, “It’s probably just a draft. This house is hella old.”

                I put on a fake smile as I grabbed his hand for courage. Cameron reached for the door handle first which was unfortunately unlocked. We both stepped inside as he closed the door firmly behind us.

                “Lets play hide-and-seek.” Cameron suggested.

                My body tensed up and I strangely felt the need to whisper,”No. We don’t even know this place.”

                “Exactly! It’s more fun this way.”

                I sighed, for once again I decided to give in to him, “You have 60 seconds.”

                “Thanks babe.” He grinned giving me a quick kiss on the cheek.

                I closed my eyes and began to count out loud. This would be easier than I thought since the floor began to creak wherever Cameron stepped. My ears carefully listened to him make his way up the stairs and down the hall. A door closed soon after.

                “Ready or not, here I come!” I yelled.

                My eyes slowly began to adjust to the room and its contents. A dusty brick fireplace was on my left along with a decaying kitchen. To my right were the stairs and what I assumed to be a door to the garage.

                With a deep breath I made my way up the stairs. The second floor was definitely darker except for the pale yellow light coming from the window at the end of the hall. My body suddenly became cold. Whether from fear or change in temperature I couldn’t tell. I chose to check the rooms on the left first. The first door I saw I kicked in, not wanting to touch the door knob.

                Cameron wasn’t there.

I turned back to the other end of the hall realizing I had heard Cameron walk in that direction. Then I froze. Someone was standing right behind me. Goosebumps covered my skin as the person’s cold breath hit my neck. I didn’t know what to do.

                Without warning I was flipped onto my stomach and dragged down the hall. Now I knew what to do: scream. I managed to yell for Cameron just before a door slammed shut in front of me. I quickly slid over to the opposite wall of the door under a window. I shivered as I realized it was the same window where I saw the curtain move. The narrow rectangle of light made me feel slightly safer in the dark room.

                A faint click signaled someone had locked the door. Now I was trapped alone with whatever grabbed me.

                “Aria!” Cameron pounded on the door, “Are you in there?! Why is the door locked!?”

                Tears began to stream from my eyes, “Cameron! Help…”

                My voice slowly died off into nothing as I sobbed into my knees.

                He can’t hear you.

                My heart seemed to stop and my eyes franticly searched the room. I couldn’t see who was talking to me but they could see me. The pounding continued on the door.

                “Please let me out.” I begged.

                I’ve been lonely for far too long.

                “Please! I’ll give you anything you want. Just let me go!”

                A high pitched laugh rang throughout the room, stinging my eardrums. I looked to where the laugh came from and saw a figure in the standing corner, behind the door. The only feature I could make out was his eyes. They were bloodshot and the pupils seemed unnaturally large.

                I would really like some company.

                My cries became more desperate, “But I don’t belong here! I have a family!”

                The world seemed to stop and I could feel his patience disappearing.

                Please. Stay with me. You’ll be happy.

                “I won’t! I don’t like it here!”

                I’m afraid I won’t take no for an answer.

Then he suddenly lunged towards me with unbelievable speed and the last thing I heard was my own scream before the world went black.

[RE] Wasting Food

"Yeah I know me eating that grain of rice isn’t going to make the other people full or anything but to me it’s something important to not waste food."

This quote is from Julie Le's blog.

I feel the same way about food. For example, some days at lunch I go buy some food and by the time I have to leave to get back to school on time I’ve barely dented into my meal. It’s a complete waste. And usually it’s not in a sealable container that I could put into my bag so I could save it till afterschool, so what do you expect me to do? I’m forced to throw it away.

It makes me feel guilty knowing of all the starving children and their families that would love to have it, and here I am tossing it away like it’s worthless to me. And some people do think it’s worthless. They buy more than they need or let things get stale. People nowadays definitely don’t appreciate things as much as they should.

This reminds me of the book The Hunger Games. In it many of the poorer districts’ families starve every day. Some even die from starvation. Katniss, the main character, is from one of the poorest districts and is used to only eating cheap grained bread, thin soup, and whatever she catches hunting. Later when she is in the Hunger Games training they feed her fancy, delicious meals she’s never dreamed of tasting. You can tell how much she appreciates the food. One thing she really enjoyed was hot cocoa. We can make that anytime in a matter of seconds. You heat up the water, pour in the powder, and voila! You got yourself some warm and creamy hot cocoa.

I think the author was referring to starving people in other countries. Many people are faced with this same ordeal on a daily basis. Even families in the United States don’t know where they’re going to find their next meal! It’s a tragic, overwhelming issue that’s going to take many years or even decades to solve but I think it should be made a priority to solve.

[CE] Endangered Mountain Gorillas

 One interesting fact shared in this video is that gorillas shared 98% of their DNA with humans. That’s a huge percent! I knew they physically looked similar to us but I wasn’t aware of how similar we were biologically. The safari guide refers to the mountain gorillas as “his cousins that live in the wild”. This is a sweet way to see the species and is also realistic in a way. If only everyone view animals in this light than maybe there wouldn’t be as many endangered species.
 It’s crazy to think that all the mountain gorillas in the whole world live in the same forest in Uganda, Africa, and ironically they are the only gorilla species growing. Although I still find it a bit greedy that the Uganda community is only protecting them due to the arrival of tourists. As long as the tourists stay interested in the endangered gorillas, I guess the species will continue to thrive. Well, at least they’re getting help. It’s better than none, right?
 I was also surprised that the mountain gorillas were so comfortable near people. It’s odd since their species is supposedly endangered from poachers (and human diseases). They’re relatively smart animals so many it’s just that that group of mountain gorillas never witnessed a poacher killing one of their kind.
 It’s sad to hear of endangered species or ones that have gone extinct, especially when we know humans are the cause. It feels weird to know that later generations will never see that species. But luckily new species are being created every day, but we still shouldn’t forget about the struggling species that are with us today.

[FREE] Jack and Mr. Blue

"Do it already!"
Jack's grip tightened around his homemade wooden slingshot. He watched the bird hop along the wired fence that surrounded the playground.
"Are you chicken?!" Max continued.
Jack turned around, heat rising to his cheeks,"I am not!"
"Well do it then." Max smirked.
Reluctantly, Jack refaced the bird and aimed a stone in its direction. His palms began to sweat and his throat turned dry.
Max quickly grew impatient, "I'm waiting."
With a deep breath Jack let go of the rubber-band and closed his eyes. Soon after he heard a soft thud and victory laughter coming from behind him.
"Way to go Jack!" Max cheered,"You hit that thing dead on!"
Unlike Max, Jack didn't feel like celebrating. His stomach felt heavy and his thoughts were blurred. A cold wave of guilt and shame flowed through him.
"I better get going." Jack announced.
"Aw shucks. I'd thought you'd stay awhile." Max said disappointedly.
Jack simply shook his head and began to walk away. He turned around to see Max leaving in the opposite direction. Now was his chance. He quickly ran to the wired fence and searched the ground. Almost hidden from sight under a bush was a small blue bird. Carefully Jack picked it up and held it in his hand. It was covered in beautiful feathers that matched the shading of the sky. A question painfully found it's way into Jack's head: Is it dead?
To get to the truth Jack gently placed his right index finger onto the bird's chest. He was relived to feel a faint heart beat against his finger. Without a second thought he picked up his slingshot and ran as fast as possible to his house. Suddenly he stopped with his hand on the doorknob. What would his dad say if he saw the bird? Jack decided to tuck in the bottom of his shirt and place the bird inside. Slowly he entered his house and made his way to the stairs.
"There ya are Jack."
Jack smiled politely at his dad who was wiping black grease from his hands.
"I was working out back on the truck when your friend Max came over."
Jack swallowed and continued to stare at his father.
"He told me you shot a bird down." His grin grew as he talked,"Thinking of begin a hunter like your old man?"
He chuckled at his own joke but Jack remained silent.
"Well I'm going to head back outside. See you at dinner."
"See you." Jack answered and waited till his dad left the room.
Then he darted upstairs and hid in his room. He searched his room for supplies to build the bird a temporary home while it healed. He grabbed an old shoe box from his closet and two pairs of socks to cover the bottom of the box.
Jack watched intently as he lowered the bird into the box. But as before it laid emotionless on its side. Then, without a respectful knock, his door flew open and hit the wall.
"What do you think you're doing?" said Annabelle eying his makeshift bed.
"That is none of your business." Jack snapped back.
"But I bet it's dad's."
Jack heavily sighed. His sister always got her way."
"You promise not to tell?"
She eagerly got onto her knees near the box and whispered,"Pinky swear."
"I sho--I mean I found a hurt bird today in the park and I'm going to try and heal it."
"It's so cute!" She squealed,"You name it yet?"
"What?"
"Did you give it a name?"
"Uhh no." This was the last thing on Jack's mind.
"Let's call it Princess Julia!"
"No way!" Jack said sticking his tongue out in disgust.
Annabelle crossed her arms,"Fine, you name it then."
Jack sat puzzled over a good name for such a unique bird. Its blue feathers were still so intriguing to him.
"Mr. Blue."
"What?! Why do you assume it's a boy bird?"
Jack smiled,"Because blue is a boy color."

Mr. Blue began to slowly move around the next few days and by the end of the week he stood up. Jack and Annabelle combined their allowance to buy bird seeds for Mr. Blue's food. They also took turns feeding him and cleaning his bed. By the end of the second week Jack decided it was time to set him free.

"Do we have to?" Annabelle pleaded.
She insisted she'd tag along with Jack to the park.
"Yes!" Jack said annoyed,"How would you like to be a bird cooped up inside a house where you could never fly again?"
This seemed to silence Annabelle for she didn't talk again till they reached the park. They both stared sadly into the box where Mr. Blue hopped gleefully, excited to feel the cool breeze against his feathers.
"I guess this is it." Jack whispered.
Annabelle smiled into the box,"Bye Mr. Blue. I'll miss you tons! Visit soon ya hear?"
Mr.Blue tilted his head as if saying, "Of course."
The moment had come and Jack reached into the box and pulled out Mr. Blue. He casually stretched out his wings and took off. The children watched him fly away into the trees as if he had never left.
"You think he'll be okay, Jack?"
"I know he will. He's a tough little bird."
Jack felt into his back pocket and pulled out his slingshot. He gripped the ends with both hands and snapped it in half. A smile spread across his face as he tossed it aside and made his way back home with Annabelle.



                                                                        To: Guy Carnegie